In this article, a man with anger problem and emdr therapy is sharing his experiences. He did not receive any training on Emdr therapy. This article only includes a client’s experience.
I had anger issues. I was a very angry person. At home, at work, while driving in traffic.
Two years ago I argued with a man in traffic. We had a fight and the man was taken to the hospital. Because of this situation, I went to court.
But my immediate environment always recognized me as a quiet person. Actually, I was a very calm person. But I could be a very angry person.
I went to a psychologist for a year before I went to Emdr therapy. I’ve changed a few psychologists and therapists. But I couldn’t get a benefit. I recognized Emdr Therapy on the Internet. I watched a few videos from Youtube. It seemed ridiculous and I didn’t think it would be useful. But I found a certified emdr therapist for my anger problems.
It lasted 30 sessions and 10 months in total.
In the first session the therapist told me about Emdr and his history. In the 1980s, a French psychologist found it by chance (!).
In later sessions I started to tell myself about myself and my past life. The therapist said that in any case, emdr was not administered. The therapist decides whether Emdr is necessary or not. The most important thing is whether you have experienced a trauma in your past. And you don’t need to know if you’re suffering from trauma. Just talk about normal things. If you have already experienced trauma, this is somehow emerging.
The therapist (Psychologist) is telling you a “safe place” is a technique called. This may be your past or your imagination. Location / time / contacts are not important. The important thing is that you feel peaceful and safe.
For example, in my 6-year-old grandfather’s village house, I chose the memory of my sister and I traveling in the forest as a safe place.
This situation lasted for 2-3 sessions. The therapist touches the two places on your body at different times while you are explaining. You feel more positive when you touch. But I don’t understand how that works.
In the first session of the Emdr therapy, the therapist sat on my knees and systematically touched my knees. I didn’t feel anything at all for the first 20 minutes. What he was doing was getting ridiculous. But after 20 minutes I started laughing. I didn’t know why, and I was laughing very violently. This crisis took about 5 minutes. Then I just started crying. It was also violent and it took about 5 minutes. I felt like I was hysterical.
Meanwhile, I was telling the therapist a lot about the past. I remember watching things like a movie. The therapist was telling me about the proplem in the things I told him. I remember telling him this over and over. What I am telling you about these things is the following: I’ve been watching myself in problematic situations after a while my brain is starting to interfere with the event and trying to remove you from that problem. You’re having really weird things. Then, the old events, violence, sadness, remorse (whatever) are slowly disappearing.
The next session was a little more ordinary. There wasn’t much change. My therapist says I’m having a hard time finding a starting point. In the 21st session, I have experienced similar laughs and crying crises as in the first therapy. But much more than the first. My therapist said we had another exit point in the 21st session. It is important to be willing and to believe in therapy throughout these sessions. You need to apply a safe place every day.
Emdr Terapim ended after the 23rd session. After that, we started to continue the Cognitive Behavior Therapy with the psychologist and it took about 6 sessions.
My experiences in Emdr sessions
For me, the event I live in is related to the communication between the subconscious and the memory (frontal lobe). As you know the frontal lobe is about logic. What we call subconscious is a memory (harddisk) that we take every memory we experience. Every day we live in Shime remains a memory for the past. So these are being put into memory (subconscious). However, when you experience Trauma, you cannot assign what you experience to memory. (that is, it is not a memory for you) As you remain in the Logic section, your logic and search constantly clash.
For example: I remember that when I was 6, I was beaten by my father (with a pants belt). I didn’t even think of it later.
The traumas you are experiencing are coming back in the form of anger, fear, anxiety and stress. If you don’t have trauma, emdr therapy has no effect. Therefore, the first sessions are very important.
So what does EMDR therapy do? This trauma normalizes your life. What’s weird is, it really does. You’re actually fighting your memories in Emdr therapy. And you’ve been doing this many times. You do not use logic in doing so. Therefore, in some sessions you can lose control. In such cases, the therapist intervenes.
I can say that Emdr Therapy is quite tiring. You must work, believe and trust your therapist. Or you have a good chance of failing.
So what was the conclusion; How do I do ?:
I made a list of 12 items for myself after the end of the therapy. (I have to succeed). I’ve been successful all over this list.
I haven’t felt anger for about a year and a half. I don’t yell at anyone and I didn’t fight with anyone. There are times when I feel sadness, anxiety, stress, but they are normal. I had no hope before therapy and did not want to be treated with antidepressants.
Finally, I must say once again that I really want this and that I’m working hard for it. I hope you get at least one idea with this therapy experience.
I am studying in Florida about Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I’m doing research on Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET), Cognitive psychology, Metacognitive Therapy.